Updated: Aug 12, 2022
So, Brene Brown says that clear is kind.
I love that because I value clear communication.
I'm taking a risk and changing things up.
I've been having a hard time recently making myself do anything.
I also have lived a life where I pushed myself to do what I think I'm supposed to do without caring what the impact on me is.
So, I'm stuck in a place of wanting to be a person of integrity and a person who shows up by posting a blog post every week and trying to find the balance and taking care of myself and allowing myself rest.
I have tons of thoughts and feelings that are swirling around inside of me.
I feel like creative juices are flowing like crazy.
And, I feel like having a specific outcome in mind is actually getting in my way.
I trust that stepping out into this ….
This feels extremely risky and a little bit like cheating.
If I'm completely honest, I feel like I'm coming up with an excuse to not have to show up and do the work.
But, at the same time, I have a deep sense that making this change and allowing this freedom is going to open up creativity inside me that I have no idea what it will look like, and that I've never experienced before.
I believe that if I want to inspire other people to take risks, then I have to take risks.
And, that's risky.
So, here's what I wrote as a note to me, for what I'm doing.
Clear is kind
So is rest
Showing up matters
(Those can feel in conflict for me.)
I want to show up for myself by writing and posting a weekly blog post. I want to give myself space to sit with all the thoughts and feelings swirling inside me.
I want time to rest.
So, I am going to spend some time slowing down.
I will hold my integrity by posting weekly.
I will not force myself to create something specific.
It may be a random thought I'm chewing on. A note to self that I may need to hear.
I'm opening space for something new.
I don't know what the season will bring. But, it feels important to honor it and step into it and risk.
I have such deep gratitude for the people who have been following this journey. I want to show up for you, too.
But, I realized, I don't even know what that means.
So, all I can do is keep showing up as myself and trust and hope that me being a human being will give you permission to be one, too.
Whatever that means.
So, I'm changing things up.
And, I don't know what that's gonna look like.