Asking for Help
If you need help, I’m your girl!
If I think you need help, I’m your girl!
If you absolutely don’t need help … I’m still your girl. I’ll be right here when you realize you actually do need help.
If I need help, you’ll be hard-pressed to know it.
Somewhere along the way, I learned that everyone else’s needs are important.
My needs. Are not.
I am valuable because of what I can provide you. My time, talent, thoughts, advice, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, help moving all your worldly possessions, driving you in the opposite direction of where I’m headed.
At times, it can seem that the more inconvenient or unpleasant the task is for me, the more points I get for doing it.
But, who’s keeping score?
And, how do points work when my needs go unmet? Is that a hit to my score or someone else’s?
Again, who is actually keeping this supposed score?! And what does winning look like?
For most of my life, I have had trouble asking for help. Mostly because I wasn’t aware I needed it.
The first step is admitting it, right?
Don’t be a burden. Tough it out. Don’t complain. Get ‘er done.
These are the messages from my childhood.
What an isolating and terrible existence.
As a relational person, I get to be with you when I’m helping, but I’m all alone when facing my own struggles.
Boo. I’m not into it.
I’m calling this out so I can change it. I’ve already started, but old messages run deep.
Everyone needs help at some point.
I’m part of everyone.
Other people ask me for help.
I can ask other people for help.
Other people say, “yes” when offered help.
I can say, “yes” when offered help. (For now, I’ll remind myself that I can go back to the
person who offered and let them know that when I said, “no” to their offer of help, it was a
reflex, and I changed my mind! And then, I can say, “yes”.)
Other people ask for help without worrying about being considered needy.
I can ask for help without worrying about being considered needy. (And, if the other person
does consider me needy, or has some other judgment about my ask, that’s theirs to look at.)
It all looks so simple and straightforward in black-and-white. It’s a bit more colorful when viewed from inside my emotions and brain.
But, I know it’s true. I can ask for help.